The Honorary Man Card

By no means am I an alcoholic, but upon occasion I will frequent the bars of SLO for a little social drinking.  Never do I drink to the point of inebriation, but I don't see anything wrong with one or two drinks every so often.  More often than not, I volunteer to be the D.D. just so I have a reason to cut myself off.

On this particular evening however, I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol.

It was the weekend of my roommates 23rd birthday.  He had decided that he wanted to go downtown for a little bit to shoot some pool and have a drink or two at a popular little bar called SLO Brew.  Originally, I declined the invite because I did not want to be the only girl stuck with two guys (our mutual friend came to visit for the weekend) but decided what the hell.  I had nothing better to do anyways.  

As we settled into the routine of patiently waiting for a pool table to become available, the two boys grabbed a beer while I sipped on the ever so deadly dihydrogen monoxide (you might know it better as H2O).  We crowded ourselves in the doorway that went from the pool room to a small corridor that lead to the mens and womens restroom.  We people watched, observing those just beginning their evening of alcohol consumption and those who were well past their limit, stumbling about like weeble wobbles yet managing to stay on their feet.

Being Saturday night I had decided to dress up a little by wearing a shiny electric purple top that I had recently purchased but hadn't had the chance to wear (this is important, I promise).

So I wanted to be a little fancy - sue me.

Now, I am just meandering in the doorway, minding my own, the two boys off to my left lost and lost in their own conversation, when suddenly I feel a somewhat belligerent tap on my shoulder.  Expecting it to be someone who is trying to get by, I grapevine my way out of the doorway.  Then, I look over and to my surprise, a girl around my age (and past her alcoholic boundaries) is looking at me with a wide eyed look of shock and excitement.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD I HAVE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!"

My first thought is one of concern, thinking she had a friend that was not doing so well in the nearby lavatory.  Thinking to be sympathetic, I was prepared to help in any fashion I could.

It was then that she lowered her hands to her shirt and slowly started to lift up the hem. 

My second thought was also one of concern, though not for some helpless, sloshed individual, but for my sanity.  No. No, no, no, no.  I'm fairly certain my face showed my shock, and horror (maybe not horror so much as embarrassment) as I realized what was happening.  It is then that I look back to my two male cohorts, who have suddenly given me their complete attention.  

You could almost see them beginning to foam at the mouth, hoping for a peek. 

At this point, I am pretty much aware that it's inevitable.  This girl is going to flash me. Fate accepted.  Finally, she lifted her shirt the rest of the way revealing not bare breasts, but an electric purple black lace-trimmed bra.

"MY BRA MATCHES YOUR SHIRT!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!"

This disappointment of my companions was almost tangible as she lowered her shirt back down and walked away without so much as a backward glance.  After the fact, a toast was raised in my honor and those two gentlemen I was tagging along with that night, proceeded to award me with a Honorary Man Card and their approval.  Glasses clinked and high-fives were given.  

Never have I been more excited to be a honorary man.

Cheers!